New Strains Alert: Professor Chaos, Ice Queen, Sour Urkle, Cheese Candy, and More
Bailey RahnPublished on March 6, 2015· Last updated July 28, 2020
This week's new strains are in, Professor Chaos is here to bring destruction to your pain, and those needing a lesson in relaxation may consult Dr. Funk. You novelty-seekers are probably wondering what Pineapple Dog Shit is all about — it's likely the only strain on this list with a more unusual flavor combination than Cheese Candy.
We're pleased to inform our friends in Oregon that many of these strains are available right out your back door in Portland (be sure to say hello to the good folks of Oregon House of Herbs for us!). As for the rest of you non-Oregon folks, check the "Availability" tab on their strain pages to see if any of these varieties are offered in your area.
Professor Chaos is what you get when you combine the malevolent forces of Mad Scientist and Jack the Ripper, two strains that balance energy with merciless painkilling properties. This 65/35 sativa-dominant hybrid from TGA Genetics has a sour, spicy aroma that introduces its clear-headed effects perfect for patients needing a potent medicine without sacrificing productivity. Its buds form knobby, finger-like calyxes covered in a snow-like layer of crystal trichomes in a show of Professor Chaos’ supervillain strength.
Dr. Funk is a mostly indica strain that balances genetics from Blueberry and Bubba Kush. You can taste this strain’s lineage as flavors of sweetberry and earthy sharpness activate on the exhale. Its tight, compact buds and orange hair-like pistils are obscured under a thick dusting of crystal trichomes, which hint at Dr. Funk’s potency.
Ice Queen is a hybrid strain that crosses White Widow and Cinderella 99 in a sativa-heavy blend fit for royalty. Its light, loose buds are powdered with frost-like resin that blankets the buds like fresh snowfall. One whiff of Ice Queen fills your nose with a sweet bouquet of lavenderrose aromas accented by subtle pepper notes. Another variety of Ice Queen was once bred by No Mercy Seeds, who combined Master Ice and Valley Queen; however, you may find this rendition harder to come by in today’s market.
Paris XXX is an extension of the Paris OG family that has placed in multiple Cannabis Cup competitions. This indica variety combines Headband OG, Chemdawg, and OG Kush genetics, creating a crisp, piney, and woody flavor on inhale. The fast-acting effects provide a balance of cerebral stimulation and full-body relaxation. Paris XXX is known to increase your appetite while also sparking creativity.
Pineapple Dog Shit is a hybrid strain that may not sound appetizing, but its elite parentage of Pineapple Punch and Chemdawg 4 is enough to draw connoisseurs of old school genetics. Its name is derived from its sour, tar-like aroma that could arguably be compared to canine byproduct, but one look at this hybrid’s knobby, dense, crystal-covered buds may convince you to push past its unconventional aroma. For those of you less interested in the novelty of Pineapple Dog Shit, we reassure you that the taste is a more pleasant blend of sweettropical and citrus flavors.
Sour Urkle is a hybrid cannabis strain that unites Sour Diesel and Purple Urkle, whose opposing sativa and indica genetics meet in a balanced and flavorful fusion. Hints of berry fight through the dominant skunkydiesel smell of Sour Urkle, creating a complex aroma that will have you fighting your friends for the first taste. Its dense, rounded buds are caked in crystal-tipped trichomes that try their best to hide Sour Urkle’s deep purple coloration to no avail.
Cheese Candy by Delicious Seeds is the hybrid lovechild of Cheese and Caramelo, a combination of parent strains that results in an unusual fusion of sweet candy and sharp cheese flavors. The sweet and sour aroma is accented by flowery, fruity flavors which usher in Cheese Candy’s deeply relaxing characteristics. Its long, slender buds are wrapped in fiery orange hairs that stand in vibrant contrast to this hybrid’s sage green hues.
