p........d

I got yer qualitative study right here. I have gout. People think gout happens to big guys who eat like King Henry VIII. Well I am a big guy, and I used to be able to eat a bucket of fried chicken 5 nights a week. But I weighed 145 lbs at the time and couldn't gain an ounce to save my life. When that started to change I stopped eating like a foo but the damage had been done. Gout doesn't go away. It's known for inflammation of the toes but it can attack any joint with swelling, pain, loss of motion - arthritis symptoms, basically. I have it in all my toes and my left ankle. I'm trying to get in shape now, because although I'm gouty for keeps, I figure taking the best care I can of myself, via nutrition and exercise and striving to not be an asshole, is the best shot I got for livin my best life. So yeah, that's what I try to do. One of the best exercises you can do for your upper body, without paying a dime to a gym or for equipment, is push-ups. Unfortunately, as you know, push-ups require holding yourself up on your toe tips. Yesterday, and most of the days before, I could bang out about 20 pushups at a clip, as long as I had on thick socks and solid shoes. That protects my toes but hurts in other places, like the ankle, but I Conan thru. Today, though, after about 3 solid rips on the good Capt's Cake (3 probably being at least one more than I needed, but what the hell I just got my card and I've been waiting for this my entire life...I want it ALL), I pulled off a few sets at 25 pushups per, in bare feet. You can safely say my pain is relieved. As the night marches on, and a couple more rips are had, I'm able to seriously max and relax, like I haven't done in some time. The munchies aren't too bad, which is good cuz that has the potential for hamstringing this whole self-improvement kick I'm on...but I ain't gonna lie and say I'm munchie-free. All in all just a very nice sit-right-there-and-chill-all-night experience. Forget your vague plans of watching some toob or reading or playing a video game. No, you're going to put something trippy on your headphones, recline, and think your thinky thoughts. Lucky you. So yes, absolutely, Captain's Cake. Good for your gout, good all throughout. Get you some today.