Sonoma Coma
5/1/2023
tldr: this felt like a neti pot for my soul and did more to relieve muscle tension + depressive symptoms than any weed ever has. It’s but not in a “really high” way.
I use weed regularly to help with body aches, fatigue, physical anxiety symptoms (tense muscles, etc), brainfog, and anhedonia (I’m diagnosed w/ PTSD and depression). When these symptoms are acute, weed helps a lot. But when they're severe and/or persistent, weed doesn't do much for the pain and just makes me groggier, so I stay away from it (and all substances).
That's the situation I was in a couple of weeks ago--stuck in a pain flair/depressive episode that just wouldn't let up. And not smoking because, like I said, it usually doesn't help. However, by day 10 or 11 of this episode, I was finally like, ‘whatever, if I'm going to feel so bad I might as well be high.’ So I picked up this flower on a whim from my local dispensary (FYI the specific flower I tried was from Freshy Fine ("Mike's Coma"). Had no expectations for it helping, but BOY WAS I WRONG. Took one hit and immediately was like "oh, I'm okay." And reader, I had not felt ‘OKAY’ in weeks!! By the time I finished the bowl, my muscles had melted--not in a couch lock way, just like, the FULL body pain I'd had for over a week had VANISHED. I smoked a second baby bowl, folded some laundry, ate a sandwich, and watched old SNL sketches with my dog.
All in all, this flower somehow restored that fundamental, visceral sense of okayness that often eludes those of us with mental illness (or it does for me!). It didn't make me feel euphoric, creative, focused, or whatever--I just felt FINE and NORMAL—like, ‘I’m a person in the world and things are hard sometimes but I can handle it and there's no need to despair.’ And that felt sense of okayness is truly all I'm ever wanting, lol, so this weed will be a permanent staple in my rotation from now on. Ok the end. Thanks for coming to my TED talk!